April Career Advice: Salty Dog & Pong in the Interview Room

How to transform your Salty Dog outfit into your Interview outfit in MINUTES!

  • Don’t bother spraying your shirts with Febreeze… employers are intrigued by the smell of booze on clothes. It shows initiative that you were even able to wake up for the interview after such an eventful night.
  • Girls: Take a tissue & wipe off the bottom of your eyeliner. Leave on the rest and it will look freshly done!
  • Boys (especially those interested in Investment Banking): The whole full suit stereotype is SO outdated… show those Wall Street studs your best going out tee and khakis.

The Art of a 10-page Resume:

  • Make sure to choose a very elusive font, as employers like a sense of mystery to draw them in. Recommendations: Wingdings or Simplified Arabic (Make ‘em translate!)
  • Another option is to hand write your resume. There’s a reason you spent so much time in school practicing cursive.
  • Include every club you’ve participated in since Middle School. How are employers supposed to take you seriously if they aren’t aware of your membership in Scrapbook Club during 6th grade?
  • Quantity overrules quality.
  • No need to proofread!

Spruce up your Facebook & Twitter:

  • Upload your best Beer pong match to YouTube ASAP.  Employers want to see your competitive edge. Bonus: If you are a regular champion…tack it on your resume!
  • If you don’t have a Red Solo Cup in your profile picture, you’re doing it wrong. Fill it up, snap a picture & show us your best Saturday 2am face. An employer’s dream.
  • Employers want entry-level employees who take charge of the company on Day 1, so show off your authoritative skills by cursing frequently on your public Twitter profile. Maybe throw in a disrespectful statement here and there to seal the deal.

Nail your Interview!

  • Always interview in a pairs just like Brennan and Dale from Step Brothers
  • Don’t bring copies of your resume… it looks like your trying too hard.
  • Always arrive 5 minutes late to the interview. If you are too punctual, they will always expect you to be on time.
  • Have your mother, father or sibling write a follow up thank you note—they love to see your family background prior to hiring

APRIL FOOLS, HO CRO!

P.S. If none of the above statements seemed out of place, please stop by Drop in hours ASAP (Every weekday from 1-4pm in Hogan 203) …We have some work to do!

 

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